3rd Draft of Personal Narrative--"Adding Emotions"

Here is the 3rd draft of my personal narrative where I added the two emotions you helped me include in class.  Can you remember what they are, or can you find the clues in this draft?  I hope so.  I hope my revisions help you understand more about the main character, me.  Let me know what you think by commenting below. 

My Special Bracelet

by Miss Shaw

One beautiful sunny day in the spring of 2009, my mom and I drove to Grand Avenue in St. Paul to go out to eat at my favorite vegetarian restaurant.  As we began walking side by side to the cafe, the sun was warm on my arms, and the wind brushed against my face.  With a huge smile on my face, I skipped down the sidewalk towards the restaurant.  My stomach was grumbling and I was craving their famous vegetarian sesame chicken.  Suddenly, I  noticed a window display that was filled with beautiful jewelry, boxes of incense, colorful banners with sacred quotes on them, and a red poster that simply said Free Tibet. 

"Mom, is it okay if we stop in this store?" I asked. 

"Sure," she replied.  "We've got a little time before lunch,"  she said as she looked at her watch.

"Ring, ring, ring."  The bells of a wind chime announced our arrival as we walked in the door. Immediately, the scent of sandalwood wrapped its arms around me, and I could see the smoke rising from the incense that was burning in the back of the store. I meandered around the small space, but it didn't take me long to find what I wanted.  I  sauntered over to the jewelry section and noticed some beautiful beaded bracelets. A tag hung from each one.  On the tag you could find out what the beads for each bracelet represented.   One represented good luck.  Another represented beauty.  The one I found especially inviting represented love and healing. I picked up the bracelet, slipped it on, and felt the smooth green beads warm themselves against my skin. I instantly knew the beads were made of jade because I had bought jade jewelry when I was vacationing in Guatemala many years before.

I turned to my mom and said, "What do you think about each of us getting a jade bracelet so we remember this day together?" 

"Is the jade supposed to represent something?"  she asked as she tried the bracelet on herself. 

"It's supposed to bring healing and love to the person who wears it," I told her. 

"We could sure use those healing powers right now, couldn't we?  Yes, let's get them together.  That's a great idea," she said as she took them both up to the cash register and paid for them.  The soothing sound of the Tibetan shawm  played over the loud speaker and the oboe sounding music made me feel that everything was going to be okay, no matter what happened.

You see, my mom and I had just come from the hospital where I had just experienced my first MRI.  When we were at the hospital waiting for the doctor to come get me for the procedure, my entire body shook, and I bit my lip.  Mom reached over to hold my hand and calm me down.  After seeing three different doctors, we still didn't know what was wrong with me.  All we knew was that I couldn't hold my neck up without using my hands, and it would spasm uncontrollably at different times throughout the day.  It had gotten so bad that I couldn't even drive anymore because I wasn't able to look straight ahead.  After my MRI, I squeezed Mom's hand to let her know how glad I was that she had gone with me because I was afraid of what the diagnosis might be.  We wouldn't know the results for a few days, and I knew that I'd just have to take life one day at a time as we waited.

So on that day after we left the hospital, my mom and I purchased a special object that we would both wear every day to help me heal.  Although we didn't know what the future held for me, we both felt better knowing that we were connected, even when we weren't together.